Delhi Chief Minister: On the Other Hand, If My Name Really Were Pronounced \'dik\ 'shit\, Would That Be Such a Crime?

Already a player on the world stage as Delhi's popular and proactive Chief Minister, Sheila Dikshit (pronounced "dixit") is said to embrace her new role as the face of cultural sensitivity awareness after a New Zealand talk show host crudely mocked her last name on a recent live television broadcast seen by the highly-rated program's many hundreds of viewers, though she also reportedly admits to being able to think of about a zillion other things she'd rather be famous for than having a name that half the world now has to try really hard not to associate with the disquieting combination of genitalia and feces.

According to sources, the Chief Minister is heartened by the global outpouring of sympathy and support she has received over the past week, but cautions that the problem will not go away until we extend our cultural sensitivity even to people whose name really is pronounced \'dik\ 'shit\, unlike her name, which is pronounced "dixit." She is said to be particularly adamant about this point, insisting repeatedly that while her own name is definitely pronounced "dixit," a good friend of hers with the same last name just so happens to pronounce it \'dik\'shit\, and for her sake she is willing to do battle with cultural insensitivity as if her own name were pronounced \'dik\ 'shit\, which, she hastens to add, it most certainly is not.

Area Teen Drains Non-Renewable Energy From Two Electronic Devices While Delivering Environmentalist Rant

Green lifestyle advocate Christen Philips, 17, launched an impromptu assault on the eco apathy of her family and friends for several hours yesterday with an impassioned salmagundi of Socratic method, child psychology, and ad hominem attacks that ended as suddenly as it began when the batteries of her iPhone and Blackberry finally gave out. No stranger to dubious environmental activism, Philips recently spearheaded a successful campaign to cut down a dozen 200-year-old White Oak trees that had been significantly reducing the efficiency of the county library's roof top solar panels, and is currently spending her afternoons driving her mom's GMC Denali Yukon around town collecting signatures for a petition seeking harsher penalties for local recycling compliance violations.