IRS Refuses to Play More Upbeat Music for Callers on Hold

In response to a wave of protests from delinquent taxpayers, the Internal Revenue Services has issued a statement declaring that they will not change the loop of depressing music that telephone callers to the IRS are subjected to when placed on hold. The statement reads, in pertinent part: "While we concede that the music in question is decidedly melancholy, it is our position that the complaining taxpayers should have thought of that before they reneged on their obligations as citizens of the United States. The Internal Revenue Service also takes the position that even the version of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" sung by Jeff Buckley can evoke positive feelings in a taxpayer with a clean financial conscience."