American Medical Association to Shorten Reception Area Wait Times, Extend Time Spent Sitting Half-Naked in Examination Room Waiting for Doctor

A recent poll conducted by the American Medical Association found that by far the most common complaint among patients who participated in the survey is the amount of time they are routinely forced to spend waiting in the reception area lounge on visits to both primary care and specialist physicians. In response to the problem, the AMA announced that as of January 1 of next year, all medical professionals will be required to admit their patients within ten minutes of arrival and check-in, unless the reception area lounge is well stocked with current periodicals and/or back issues of National Geographic that do not have King Tut on the cover, in which case the maximum wait time will be fifteen minutes. In order to accommodate the change, the AMA says there will be no limit on the amount of time physicians can keep a patient waiting in the examination room sitting half-naked on an exam table covered in crinkly paper, though negotiations are under way to permit bored patients to take their own blood pressure and fiddle around with the wall-unit otoscope.